


Guardian Angel

by Keitmeg



Series: Zosan Package [12]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 09:12:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15793485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keitmeg/pseuds/Keitmeg
Summary: For Zohor, I miss you...





	Guardian Angel

**Author's Note:**

> For Zohor, I miss you...

 

 

Racing together down a slope to see who wins has become a daily thing to Roronoa Zoro and Vinsmoke Sanji. They grew up together in this sheltered town and they’ve become known to the townsmen as the inseparable pair; like fire and smoke, to each his character, but they can’t help but get along.

On weekends, they sheep herd about twenty ewes per thirty acres their families own; and when school calls, they walk about two kilometer through the yellowish lands. But they’re fourteen, they’re mischievous, their curiosity to explore comes from a childish need to know; so instead of only two kilometer, the trek usually requires more.

Roronoa Zoro is the quiet one; he’s always been the quiet one. He only talks when he needs to. He smiles to show his gratitude and he frowns to show his disgruntlement; or better yet, he’s like an open book, so easy to read. Vinsmoke Sanji is not, he’s the impulsive one, he’s unpredictable and smart, he has charms and his words are flirtatious even if he’s not trying to be. But they get along so well.

When Usopp and Luffy try to approach Zoro and Sanji, they retort back like cats hissing. When Law, Kid and Bonny try to mess with them, they bite back resentfully. They can’t be approached, they can’t be touched, and they’re out of everyone’s league.

Sanji thinks they know these mountains more than anyone does, they have a lot of secret places that only the two of them know of. They are even friends with a hawk that frequents in the sky a lot, it’s as if they’re the owners of this place; they’re invincible, Sanji thinks.

Today, they’re stone skipping because the sun is beaming from a perfect angle in the clear blue sky, it makes the little pond, a gift the dried river had left, glitter to their presence; the cicada agrees as it buzzes like power lines on blast.

“Seven, you broke your own record,” Sanji says, he is impressed.

Zoro smiles to show his gratitude.

“My turn now,” Sanji says, adamantly.

He throws a flat stone across the water surface and it bounces off four times before it finally sinks. He will do better tomorrow.

Tomorrow comes.

They’re walking towards their school again, it’s muggy, and Sanji wants to brag about an adults’ magazine he’s found under his father’s sleeping futon this morning. Sanji knows that if his father finds out that his most-likely-precious magazine is gone then he’ll be gone, too. He’s a kid, he’s impulsive, so he’ll enjoy the magazine and when it comes down to it, he’ll threaten his father that if he doesn’t forgive him then he’ll show the magazine to his mother. He’s smart. Zoro on the other hand is not very proud about what Sanji’s done, but he’s also curious about the photos on the magazine; he’s slowly frowning though.

“We’re just going to take a look, stop frowning!” Sanji assures.

Zoro gives him an unreadable face. Sanji tries to read it, but he fails.

He takes the other’s hand in his and stomps off to the side and towards the shade of a king cherry tree. “Don’t be so negative, here, take a look,” saying so, he flicks through the pages and settles on page 13 where a beautiful woman is nude posing; Zoro is momentary interested and even his cock does a little twitch, it’s an eerie feeling so he quickly darts his eyes away.

“Chicken.” Sanji huffs while sitting down cross-legged, with the magazine still in his hands as he turns the page. Zoro sits beside him because he can’t bring himself to walk away and leave this foolish kid alone.

“I had a dream about Violet last night.” Sanji says, conversationally. “I saw her last night in her father’s car; I think he brought her from school, like usual.”

 “You’re crushing on her now?” Zoro questions, enjoying this balmy breeze but it leaves quickly just as it appeared suddenly.

“Kind of.” Sanji shrugs, he’s looking at the cars’ pages now.

“What happened to Nami? You don’t like her anymore?”

“For starters, I didn’t like Nami, I just thought she was somehow different. You know how she tends to speak her mind and she’s blunt and honest, you don’t find that a lot in girls in this town.”

Zoro smiles amiably, and it’s not a smile of gratitude, it’s a smile he’s never shown before, Sanji thinks. He feels the sudden need to explore Zoro, this kid he’s been friends with for all their lives, and now he shows a smile he’s never shown before? He rebukes himself inwardly, how come there are things he still doesn’t know about Zoro?

It’s not a competition, but if Zoron had him all figured out, then Sanji doesn’t stand as his equal.

“Zoro” he calls, his voice shaky, “do you know what I desire the most?”

Zoro looks at him with unfathomable eyes, and something in Sanji’s chest snaps.

“Do you want to know?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Zoro says, he waits until the rustling of the tree leaves stills, and then he adds, “Let’s head to school.”

This time, Zoro doesn’t look behind to see if Sanji is following suit, because he knows that Sanji knows that the school’s gate are about to open, and any further talk will only delay their arrival in time.

Another day unfolds. Zoro is helping out in their farm because he’s the only man in the family, but since the summer is dry this season there isn’t much he can do. Today, he and Sanji have to guard the sheep; but after what happened last night after they’d left school, Zoro has secret doubts now. Sanji didn’t talk to him all throughout their trek back home and he can’t figure out the reason why. He’s being ignored, this is all he knows.

He lets the sheep out and leaves the herding job to his dog; he meets Sanji afterward on the same hill they always resort to. Zoro realizes he doesn’t like the quiet Sanji, he realizes he doesn’t like being given the cold shoulder, so he approaches Sanji as they’re both standing atop and looking down at their warm, small village.

“You want to leave the village, this is what you want the most,” Zoro says in his deep voice, “that’s not something I want to hear from your own mouth.”

“Wrong.” Sanji shakes his head. “You still haven’t had me figured out yet.” He grins guilelessly, it’s his usual beaming face which Zoro has missed looking at while Sanji’s been giving him the cold shoulder. “Zoro” he says, “Do you remember the other day when I had to sheep herd by myself because you stayed behind to help out in the farm?”

Zoro nods and Sanji sees it from the corner of his eyes. He walks a little ahead and he says, “That day, I came up here and cried.”

“Because I didn’t tag along…?” Zoro questions, wide-eyed and innocent like the kid he is.

Sanji laughs, “No” he chortles, and his eyes fall, something akin to nostalgia swirling deep within his sapphire blue eyes. “I just, I felt something inside of me thrashing like a wave. I didn’t understand the nature of my feelings, it felt like I was being suck into a quagmire and it was such a helpless feeling, and then I felt hot tears burn my eyes/ I couldn’t contain them, I couldn’t stop myself either.” He looks up at a confused Zoro, “This” he gestures at all around him. “We own it, we lord it, you and I,” he says, a wistful desire brushing over his defined countenances, “we rule it.”

“Sanji…” the other hesitates, his eyes finding this person before him suddenly unapproachable, ethereal…. “Yes.”

“But” –Sanji looks away now– “what I want the most is not this.”

Zoro frowns.

Sanji looks up at the sky and smiles ingenuously. “ _That_ is what I want.”

Zoro looks up at the sky, too. The hawk is flying in a circle above them and screeching.

“You want the freaking hawk?” Zoro narrows his eyes, he can’t keep track anymore.

Sanji sighs, “No!” he says, desperate and clingy, “I want what he owns, I want the sky.”

Zoro’s heart gives a violent jolt.

“I can’t let it go, Zoro, it’s slowly creeping under my skin and every vein in me is screaming ‘ _rule it_ ’, and now that I know the nature of these feelings inside of me, I just can’t back down. I’m scared of what I might do to make it happen.”

If Zoro is truthful with himself, thinking Sanji might burst suddenly into millions of colorful butterflies that would fly to every corner of the world is by far the most ridiculous idea he’s had about his childhood friend so far.

“But the sky has who rules it,” He reasons, he finally understands the drive which keeps Sanji going and his determination which knows no limits, at this point, Zoro wonders to himself, what would life be without the torch which illuminates his life. “With all the religions in this world, there must be hundreds of gods up there battling for the throne, and that hawk, he must be one of the guards which keep the sky away from the reach of power-thirsty dreamers like yourself.”

Silence sips in.

Sanji breathes in, and he lets it out, it’s as if a new grown-up Sanji has been made just now “Someday, I’ll fight those guards, and I’ll own it.”

Someday might come might not, Zoro thinks, if the we now can’t read what the future has in store for us, then why shudder at the thought of tomorrow, aren’t we supposed to live each day to its fullest. Speaking of this, fullest, Zoro lives each day to its fullest but it’s unsatisfying. Broadly speaking, his life is lacking. He thinks that he lives in the shadow of Sanji’s existence... everything about Sanji speaks greatness. How will the future unfold for him? What is he going to choose to do as a living? Being a farmer like his departed father?

Just what is it that he desires the most?

 

Four years pass them by in the blink of an eye and Zoro has never been sure about something like he is now about his feelings towards his childhood friend. He likes the words he speaks, he likes the earth he walks on and he even likes the air he breathes. To him, Sanji is more beautiful than every growing lady in this sheltered village. He is more reliable than the manpower the townsmen brag about; to him, Sanji is just perfect the way he is, too perfect for his own. Thinking of Sanji on a daily basis has become as natural as the air we breathe to him, he knows his feelings are wrong, he knows his secret desire is forbidden, and according to religion, he’ll be condemned by the gods and will never be condoned. He can’t keep his lust to himself anymore; if possible, he wants to tell Sanji about his inner sufferings and let worse comes to worst.

Unlike his undecided mind, Sanji’s has already settled on moving out to the city soon since he’s eighteen now, and try his luck as a rising star. He can always put his good looks to use and gain some money from posing as a model; he’s seen those male models in those magazines he continued to stealthily fetch from his father’s study in the past, so he has a few ideas to as how and what you can manage in the job. He’s already told his childhood friend about this and Zoro gave him his unreadable face in return as a reply.

“Would you come with me?” Sanji had asked once in the past when they were sixteen.

“Not all of us are fond of posing,” Zoro replied, his eyes gazing the sky night from where they had been sitting in the carpentered porch.

“We’ll hit a success, we’ll make the people here proud.” He persuaded again, doggedly, “we can make more money than we ever dreamed, Zoro!”

Zoro listened to the cricket buzzing; he couldn’t believe Sanji was ready to leave there and start a new where the hawk didn’t screech above. “I don’t find that worthwhile, besides, I feel comfortable here.”

“You would want to part yourself from me?” Sanji exclaimed.

“You’re the one who wants to part himself from me, from _here,_ ” Zoro fretted, “You think the city people will welcome you with open arms? You think they’re going to throw themselves at your feet and give you every job they have in store for you? Sometimes you’re just so naïve it makes me think maybe I read you backwards all those years; the city is not for people like you, you’ve never been out of here and you don’t know anyone there either.” He reasoned, indignantly.

Sanji revealed a scowl across his forehead; he didn’t like what he’d had heard.

Zoro neared the other more and said gently now “Stay here… stay with us, live with dignity amongst the villagers here.”

“But this is not what I want,” Sanji had said only that and walked away to his own house.

 

It’s been two years since then and Sanji has flourished handsomely, he can’t hide his excitement from his friends anymore. He tells them he is truly in love with Violet, the brunette he’s seen in his dream once. To Sanji, she is like a goddess, unapproachable, divine and absurdly beautiful.

Today, Zoro takes over the farm work his mother usually does and takes it upon himself to get the hens into their coop, feed the rabbits and field fence some further parts where their horses and donkeys can run. Sanji comes over and Zoro thinks he is here to pay his mother a visit like the old times, but Sanji is here to brag.

“I confessed to her today,” he says, leaning on the wooden fence Zoro’s just managed to build. “She said she also likes me back, isn’t that great!”

The only thing that comes to Zoro’s mind right is ‘ _so he’s done it’._ He can’t believe he escaped his chance to confess first, and now Sanji is officially someone else’s. He never once imagined Sanji to be this perfect definition of a simpleton, this low mediator, this undeserving of his intense love. He knows Sanji is standing right behind him, anticipating a compliment or felicitations which Zoro is not yet ready to offer. He brushes his fingers across the horse’s long face gently and the latter neighs in comfort. “That didn’t take long, good for you though.” He says over his shoulder.

“You don’t look happy for me,” Sanji complains, disappointedly.

Zoro can’t turn around and face him, so he pets the horse under the chin, “You’re moving too fast, Sanji, that’s what I think, but since when do you care about my opinions?”

“What are you saying? Of course I care” Sanji exclaims, fervently, “You’re my best friend and all your opinions matter to me.”

The sun is slowly setting behind the mountain peak, deciding it doesn’t want to hear Zoro’s heart throbbing in agony.

“To be honest, it’s your life, not mine,” he admits, as though it’s a reminder to himself first before is it a statement to Sanji, “Whatever you decide, I don’t really care, we’re grown-ups now, we can’t keep pestering each other about matters that are solved independently, that’s all.”

“So you don’t give a damn now?” Sanji grits out, “You never have, right?”

“I’ll pray for your happiness, since we’re _best friends_.”

He hears Sanji huff angrily, and he hears his footsteps sounding farther and farther, when he turns around, he only sees Sanji’s back walking away from him as if with no return. He can’t undo what’s been done; he can’t stop Sanji from loving Violet because who is it that can control what the heart desires?

But the way he’s handling this is way too childish even for him.

The sun rises again, worried about Zoro’s heart too. Said male is up and ready for the field work now. They say after this fall season, winter is going to be very cold and tough, even for villagers like himself… working alone is indeed hard. But he’s a stout, his body is firm and his arms are strong. Sometimes, he thinks he did come out pretty manly with all the field work paying as his sole exercise. Sometimes, he wonders how it’d feel to embrace Sanji with these arms.

He doesn’t meet Sanji for what’s left of the day, it’s upsetting but he’s grateful, he can keep his feelings in check like this. Later that night, he spots Sanji and Violet walking far from her place, those glances they steal of each other, those moments their hands brush against one another and those smiles they exchange for each other  
…. Zoro could have had them all for himself if his love wasn’t so wrong, so dirty and disgraceful. It’s a feeling he can’t speak about to anyone but to his lonely heart that’s been throbbing painfully at the sight of the new couple. He walks into his house because feelings are intangible, they might get out of him and strip him naked without him noticing.

In the early morning, Zoro decides sheep herding will clear his mind, so he sets himself to it. Over the hill, he finds a piece of wood so an urge to be a craftsman suddenly springs up as he crafts something precious on its surface with his keys. He’s proud of his work but he’s selfish when it comes to sharing his favorites, so he buries it under the dry soil, so that no one will find it.

The next time he pays Sanji’s parents a visit, he doesn’t find him there but he finds his packed bags instead, and then Sanji’s mother comes up to him with a kind smile of her own. “He’s deciding his future.” She gives him a motherly pat on the shoulder as if she can read it over his face how much lonely it’s going to be without Sanji around.

He doesn’t know what to do anymore, he knows there’s the option of taking Sanji by force and conveying all these clashing feelings at once because it’s tormenting to say nothing; however, he knows that if he really did that, he’d be hated forever, and forever is a very long time. If he really loves him, he’ll let him ruffle his feathers and fly away from the nest, let him explore the world and turn into a magnificent eagle that can defeat the guardians above. Eventually, these burning fires inside of him will die away like the smoke you can’t catch… fire and smoke, it is indeed torture.

Throughout his monotonous routine, Zoro’s seen Sanji and Violet together over that hill which he and Sanji used to frequent at a lot. At first, he felt betrayed, he felt like a great piece of him was cut out entirely, but as the days went on, he realized that hatred will only gnaw a rotten hole into his loving heart and he doesn’t want to turn into something he is not.

 

It’s a pleasant evening, Zoro is feeding the horses when he finally realizes that his back hurts so he leans on the fence, gazing, with empty eyes, at the vacant sky and the birds flying towards the warmth of the setting sun. A breeze brushes over his face and it smells fresh, he recognizes this smell, a storm is coming soon. He takes the horses into the stables, and just then, he decides to warn the elders. But since he doesn’t have a father, his warnings go unnoticed, and he gives up. He notes it in his mind to warn the Vins on his way back home and they take his warning seriously; Sanji is not around so he curses his luck for missing out the chance to see him.

Around nine in the evening, the wind starts picking up pace and howling through the empty spaces between the tree lines. It’s such an ominous sound that Zoro’s entire body shudders to it. Thirty minutes later, he decides to go help out if the villagers needed any help. Since they didn’t take his warning seriously, they’re dealing with quite the trouble now, Zoro thinks. Much to his dismay, he finds them bickering and everything imbued totally. He helps out with all he can but there’s very little he can do seeing how the storm has taken over for now. He looks around searchingly through narrow eyes, hoping to spot Sanji somewhere, they really are short of manpower.

“He left this afternoon and hasn’t returned!” Sanji’s father informs his son’s best friend, urgently, “Please help me find him!” he begs with furrowed eyes, for a moment, Zoro can’t tell if that on his face is the water from the heavy rain or tears of a worried father.

“Of course,” he deadpans.

And not long after, someone calls him out. He and Sanji’s father pause and look around, and it’s Violet scurrying girlishly towards them. For now, he really doesn’t want to see her.

“Help me!” She cries, “I’m afraid Sanji is stuck somewhere over the other side of the river”

“What do you mean? How do you know he’s there?” He demands, hurriedly.

 “We were planning to meet at the spot just ahead the preserve, and he said he’d wait for me there, but then the weather suddenly changed and I got scared, I’m sorry.” She sobs.

Zoro smiles to her ruefully, “go back to your house for now” he tells her, “and sir” he looks at Mr. Judge for a beat second before adding this, “I’ll go look for Sanji, make sure you help out here, the storm is not going to let out anytime soon.”

“But you going alone is very dangerous, let us send more men with you.”

Zoro shakes his head vehemently. “I know the mountains very well, I will take a shortcut to reach the preserve.” He yells so his voice isn’t lost in the winds, “and Sanji is even better than me at reading these mountains, he should be hiding somewhere, I know him.”

They finally come to an agreement, and Mr. Judge urges Zoro to make him a promise that he’ll bring his son alive, and Zoro nods, he’s never been more determined.

He arms himself with a rope and a flashlight, he takes his favorite horse, but his mother comes in his way.

“Where do you think you’re going in this storm?” she bellows.

“Sanji is stuck somewhere across the river, someone must bring him back,” he tells her, “He’s my most precious person, after you.”

She falls silent, her wrinkles stating the ages she’s lived raising her son by herself, “You’ve grown up into a reliable man, Zoro” she says, “You’re always making your mother proud.”

He pecks at her forehead. “It’s all thanks to you, mother.”

“I’ll pray you two return home safely.” She adds.

He rides his horse and wraps the rope around his shoulder, he holds the reins and clicks his tongue, and the horse springs forward like a spear thrusting the air. Zoro’s vision is hazed by the heavy rain and the insistent wind that somehow feels like it is determined to stop him from saving his childhood friend.

Love drew near to him stealthily, this faint force, yet wholly undaunted. It made him yearn for ecstatic happiness where he is loved, needed and wanted back. Instead, it drove him to a corner, a vacant desert where his heart dried leaving it nothing but a hard rock, and the loneliness is slowly killing him. He prays, he prays that someday some hope will flicker and that his hidden feelings would be conveyed. For now, he has to save his friend, the one he’s been in love with for a very long time.

The flow of the deep river rises and Zoro knows he can’t cross over on horseback, he ushers it to stride towards the bridge and once he’s on his two feet, he thanks his horse and kicks him to run back to the village. He tries to cross the bridge but that’s been built by the villagers and because of the strong stream of water flow, the wooden pillars, which hold it, finally give out and the entire bridge collapses down.

 

*********

 

He finally finds Sanji struggling to take out his leg from under a large branch of a tree.

“Zoro!” Sanji calls out, something in between a desperate yelp and an excited squeak, “You came!”

Zoro lifts the branch and Sanji frees himself.

“There’s a deserted cabin deep in the woods, a few meters away from here, let’s take shelter there from the storm.”

“I was heading towards it when this branch fell on me out of nowhere.” Sanji tries to stand, but he fails to, “I think I broke my leg.”

Zoro’s eyes widen fretfully, “Are you serious?” he reproaches, “here, let me help you, I’ll take a look at your leg after we reach the cabin.”

They rush through the wet soil, the fallen branches break under their nervous running. Sanji totters even with Zoro taking most of his weight. But he soon forgets about the uncomfortable feeling of being semi dragged through pointy bushes and branches when they reach the cabin, all the violent sounds disappear once they go in and close the door behind them.

Zoro helps his friend down very gently, and then he runs to light the fire in its fireplace. “Show me your leg.”

“It’s not that bad of an–” he’s trying to dismiss it but Zoro crouches down in front of him and inspects the said leg with his own hands, and Sanji looks at him keenly.

“It seems like you sprained it a little,” he concludes, “I’ll wrap it so try not to move it around too much.”

Sanji nods.

Zoro tears the larger part of his shirt and wraps it around Sanji’s ankle. “This will do until we get back to the village.”

“Thanks” is all Sanji says in return.

The hungry howling of the wind whistles through the spaces of the walls and windows, and Sanji hugs his knees closer to his chest, but he hisses since he’s just been told not to move his leg too much and he’s done exactly that.

“Moron.” Zoro rebukes, giving him a look of reproach. “If you want to break it completely, do it somewhere else. I’ve torn my shirt for you.”

“I was careless, sorry.” He looks down, fixing his eyes on the fire, its light falling across his face.

Zoro leans on his chair, finding its creaking very assuring; until Sanji’s stomach interrupts it when it grumbles. He stands up, “I’ll look around for something edible.”

“As if you’re going to find any.” Sanji snorts, “You do know that we stopped coming here a few years ago.”

He hears things being slammed and doors being shut with force, he wonders if Zoro is planning to destroy this place down instead.

“Ha” said male squeaks behind, “snacks!”

“You must be imagining things,” Sanji says offhandedly, crawling nearer to the fire and to its radiating warmth.

Zoro walks in with bags of candy bars in his hand, he throws one to his friend and keeps one to himself, he sits back on his chair and it creaks in discomfort at his weight.

Sanji eats them gratefully, they’re sweet but they can silence his hunger, for now. He notices how Zoro doesn’t eat his share.

They listen to the fire crackle, Zoro feels something flower in his chest, there’s just so much he wants to say since fate has brought them two alone at last. But Sanji beats him to it, “what a date”

Zoro scoffs, “It’s you after all.”

“What do you mean?” annoyance is creeping into Sanji’s tone.

“Nothing, I’m just saying that I don’t find it strange that you got stuck in this situation when it’s supposed to be just a date. You’re always extreme.”

“I am not.” Sanji disagrees, “it’s not like a started the storm!”

Zoro watches him with his deep eyes for a moment, before turning his head to look at the ceiling, “Whatever.”

“I heard you came to visit, sorry I wasn’t there to greet you.” Sanji offers, “Things have been pretty awkward between us lately.”

Zoro remains wordless.

Sanji bites down his plump lip. “I tried to figure it out the past few weeks, but Zoro, you’re giving me no clue.”

Zoro looks down at him again, “Clue?”

“Yea.” Sanji gives a dismissive shrug. “I tried to look back and see if I did something wrong, but you’ve been treating me like trash for no apparent reason, and I hate it.” Zoro tilts his head with a frown and it almost drives Sanji mad, so he guesses, “Are you perhaps…jealous?”

Zoro’s heart gives another jolt, it’s the second time this happens and he has no idea how to deal with it. If he’s like an open book, why hasn’t Sanji had him figured out yet. “Jealous of what, your fantastic date?”

He’s jealous, oh so very jealous.

“It’s just, you stopped treating me like your friend, it’s as if we’ve never known each other before, even Usopp and Luffy were interested about it.”

Zoro gives out a sigh, “What’s up with their meddling; they should mind their own.”

“They were worried, that’s all.” Sanji tells him.

“What does it matter now? Things have changed and we’re no more kids.” Zoro states like a man who’s given up hope.

“See?” Sanji drones accusingly, “You’re doing it again, dodging the question.”

Zoro rolls his eyes; this is exactly the kind of talk he doesn’t want to have now, “I just don’t see how it’s going to change anything if I said something or not.”

“You wouldn’t know unless you try, idiot.”

Zoro’s lips part to utter words of assurance, but his mind quickly decides against it, “get some rest, we’ll walk down the mountain as soon as the storm lets out.” He closes his eyes and leans back, swaying mentally back and forth with the sound of fire cracking.

Sanji scowls. He leans down on the floor and winces when he accidently moves his injured ankle.

“Bastard, are you doing it on purpose?”

Silence falls, and all they can hear aside from the fire popping, is the deep howling of the storm, eating away everything in its way, but leaving their uncertainties to them.

“You’ve changed a lot, Zoro,” Sanji says when he flicks his eyes to said male, “and I haven’t even left the village yet, so what would happen when I finally leave, would you forget all about me completely?”

“Don’t worry, that’s not going to happen,” Zoro answers enigmatically. He looks down at his friend and sees his intent look under furrowed brows, so he flops a hand nonchalantly. “Why does it bother you anyway?”

“Why the fuck doesn’t it bother you?” he huffs exasperatedly, sitting up now, “You’ve been acting as though you’ve never known me before, you haven’t even asked me about how I’ve been doing and about when I’m leaving. I don’t get you. Does our friendship weigh so little to you? Am I even your friend?”

“You’re still ranting about this...?” Zoro comments, drowsily.

“You don’t want to be my friend anymore, is that it? So we’re going to call it quits?”

“Give me a break already, Sanji.” Zoro reveals his tired eyes; he’s tired, physically and mentally, if only words could describe it.

“I did give you a break!” Sanji’s voice pierces the air.

There is a long silence where Zoro does nothing but stare back at those shimmering eyes of his crush. After some moments, Sanji wants to let it out, whatever that’s been heaving his mind.

 “I don’t know what else to do. I tried, I really have, that’s why, I don’t care if it doesn’t bother you, it bothers me, but I think it’s time for me to let go. I’m letting go, Zoro.” He looks up now at the green-eyed male with desperate eyes. “I’m giving up on our friendship.”

At this moment, Zoro wants nothing but to scream at his friend “no, don’t!” and take him in a bone breaking hug, whisper the words he’s kept locked in the little cage of his chest and end his inner sufferings; however, circumstances are working against him, and even he is not that much of an airhead. He can hear Sanji say ‘friendship’ clear and pure, how can he bring himself to destroy what links the two of them together and what Sanji is striving to revive with all honesty? Sanji is leaving soon, so even if it breaks his heart to say it, he has an obligation to say it.

“That’d do us both a great favor, really.” He says, indifferently, and leans his head back to look at the ceiling again.

He hears Sanji curse beneath his breath, he hears him let out an annoyed sigh, he hears him bitch a crude “ _fine_ ”; and then, they both go to sleep.

 

The thunder rumbles now, like a wild lion roaring to show off its fangs to a started gazette. Sanji watches the burning fire with worried eyes, and he finally can’t keep his uneasiness to himself.

“Do you think they’re fine?” he asks, expecting silence for a reply. But Zoro surprises him when he says, “they’re probably doing better than we are, don’t worry too much.”

“Zoro.” He calls out, gently, “You’ve never told me.”

“Tell you what?”

“What is it that you desire the most?” He states.

“So now you’re interested in knowing?” Zoro scoffs, somehow enjoying the attention he’s getting from his friend.

“I’ve always been curious about it. I just didn’t find the chance to ask properly.” He explains.

Zoro smiles faint-heartedly to himself, he feels like a craving being beginning to slowly open up to hope like flower petals welcoming a new dawn; his sinful desire coming back to haunt him, and now he is trapped between the sweet torture of liking him, he who doesn't share his fondness, and setting himself free from a secret which strives to burn those petals into nothing but ash on the ground. He darts those deep eyes of his to fixate them on the blond, he can see how Sanji’s own eyes quiver with something delightful like excitement, and something dark like fear. “What I desire the most is something very wrong and sinful, something that you should never know about.”

“Alright,” Sanji sits up carefully, “You have my attention, please tell me more.”

Zoro shakes his head.

“You really are something.” Sanji smiles fondly, “It’s as if you’re subtly isolating yourself from us.” He points at his chest with his two hands, “from _me_.”

Isolating… indeed; that’s exactly what his life has become. He’s failed to eschew this dreariness which fills every corner of his memory, threatening to eat his brain cells and leave his skull an empty shell, he loathes it.

He stands up very slowly, hating how the chair creaks to the emptiness, he propels himself towards Sanji with eyes fixed on his. Capriciously, he couches down in front of Sanji, and after a moment of exchanging unreadable glances with one another, Zoro pulls the other’s face closer to his and at last, he tastes those plump lips. So soft, so sweet, even better than the ones in his vivid dreams. Sanji yelps and recoils from the other’s grip, terror seizing his heart.

Zoro’s eyes quiver, he’s done it; he’s finally done it. “Do you understand now, Sanji?” he asks, but without waiting for an answer, he elaborates, “That’s why I’m isolating myself from you, I’ve betrayed our friendship, I’ve betrayed you,” saying so, he smiles a smile Sanji has seen before in the far past, and he returns to his chair before his self-restraint snaps and he takes his friend by force.

“I’ll go to sleep now, please…” he drones. “Don’t bother me again.”

Sanji is dumbfounded, what just happened, he wonders.

He goes to sleep, and even though it starts off as an impossible task, he manages to fall into a restful nap. In the late phases of his dream, he can hear his friend’s voice sounding closer and closer, and now, he clearly hears him say, “…for my cowardice, I don’t’ deserve to be your equal.”

His eyes snap open, and Zoro’s face is hovering just above his, the sun’s lights landing across his face.

“Y-you’re up” Zoro mutters, embarrassingly.

Suddenly, Sanji finds that blushing face adorable and cuddly; he also finds that swallowing is not as easy today. He reaches out with his hand and, without hesitation, Zoro takes it in his unusually cold ones.

Those unspeakable feelings, how can he possibly stop them from overflowing?

Realizing this, he looks away and he brings his share of the candy bar. “Here, eat this, and then let’s take you back home.”

 

They finally leave the cabin, hoping they’ll reach the village without being interrupted by any other natural disaster.

Sanji is comfortable like this, wrapping his arm around his friend’s neck, and relying on him to take him back to his parents and to his girlfriend safe and sound. Zoro is looking ahead with determined eyes; he inspects the bushes and the droplets falling from the tree leaves.

 “The flow of the river must be still very strong, and the bridge collapsed last night, so we need to cross the other bridge.”

“You came for my rescue without a rope or something, such a great help you are.”

“They fell from me last night,” Zoro says in his velvety voice, “Come on,” he nudges the other, “Let’s keep moving.”

 

They finally reach a solid bridge and they cross it, the village is just a few acres away now.

“Zoro, I don’t hate you.” Sanji says out of the blue, “I never will, and the fact that you harbor those loving feelings for me makes me delighted.”

“I’m sure it does.”

“You really are something.” Sanji chuckles, “You never told me about those feelings because you thought you’ve betrayed me? You’ve got the knack for doing things your own way. I respect that.”

“Yea, name your first born after me, will ya?” He jokes, his smirk growing cocky.

 “He’d probably turn out awkward just like you.” Sanji laughs.

Surprisingly enough, Zoro laughs jointly.

He’s finally laughed.

 

The village is just ahead now, they can see Mr. and Mrs. Vinsmoke brightening up at the sight of Sanji; his girlfriend too with her father, nodding and smiling happily, and Sanji lets go of his friend, enjoying the sight of all of them welcoming them back.

“I’ll fight the guards for you,” Zoro says, his voice coming off fainter and distant now, “Sanji, I’ll protect the throne for you.”

Upset with his sudden blabbering, Sanji turns around to scold Zoro but only the trees behind rustle in his sudden absence. He looks around, searchingly, and only the cold wind wraps around him in one last forceful embrace. Zoro tore his shirt to wrap it around his ankle, didn’t he? Sanji looks at said ankle and there’s nothing wrapping it together. Maybe it’s the fatigue, maybe it’s the shock, but he collapses on the ground due to both.

 

He wakes up after one day and two nights of good rest, he’s freshened up and limbs peppy in this beautiful morning. But something remains amiss.

He sits at the breakfast table, but he suddenly has no appetite whatsoever to taste his mother’s food. He’s definite now, something is not right.

He goes out to tell his friend about it, he notices how the villagers are peeking at him, but it all goes ignored when he finally stands by the fence he’s seen Zoro build before. “Mrs. Roronoa?”

Said woman comes out of the chicken coop, and walks wobbly towards him. “Sanji, son, how’s your leg?”

He looks at said leg but this is what he finds weird, he knows there’s something important he’s not capable of remembering, but now, he also remembers the burning urge to see Zoro. “Where’s Zoro?”

She pales, her brows tremble shockingly; but eventually, she smiles remorsefully like she always does to veil her sadness. “We buried him the day before yesterday.”

There’s suddenly a white haze in his vision, for once, he just can’t grasp the meaning of her words.

“They found his body south at the shore of the river,” she tells him, and after a sigh, she adds, “it seems like he tried to cross the bridge but it collapsed and he fell into the water, he couldn’t swim and the flow drove him away, and he drowned.”

He can hear his breathing rising, these nauseating feelings wash over his lungs, he wonders if those are just his emotions overflowing or him losing his mind.

She lets out a painful sob when she tells him, “He said you’re his most precious person, that Zoro, he’s always loved us dearly.” She retreats from his sight because she probably doesn’t want to be seen weeping at the loss of her only family, her son.

Wobbly, Sanji walks away from there, a memory of Zoro telling him about the bridge collapsing, and about the candy bar he didn’t even taste; a memory of Zoro’s unusually cold hands holding his so very gently replays on his mind, and he feels an agonizing pain in his heart.

Aimlessly, he walks. Up the hill, he sits, and at the ground, he gazes.

His eyes burn with tears again, for a very long time, he finds himself crying like that one time in the past. And through his watery eyes, he sees a piece of wood obviously have been washed by the previous storm; his picks it up and makes out the crafted words, and they look like they’d wiggle, ‘I’ll cherish you, forever. R.Z’ they transcend time and space and read in a whisper…‘I’ll protect your throne’.

Sanji looks up at the sky, and the hawk which used to loom up in circles is bigger now. Sanji tears up at first, and he finally lets out a doleful cry, which turns into agonizing sobs, “if you’d only told me earlier” he cries, “If I’d only noticed earlier.”

“In the end, I couldn’t have you figured out.”

 


End file.
